Uhhhgggggg...It's almost here! My baby girl, you know the one, 7lbs 11oz and 20.5 inches long? She told me today as we were sitting down to eat breakfast, "Momma, you know what!" "What's that?" I replied unknowingly. "Today is the last day forever that I will be 4!" She exclaims with pride and excitement.
I couldn't even control myself...I teared up, got a lump in my throat, and had to excuse myself to the other room. It was like a knife straight to the heart. Why oh why can't I be excited for birthdays?
I guess I was excited when she turned 1, but really it has gone straight down hill from there. This year she is 5, F-I-V-E, FIVE! I cannot get over it. She is no longer in any of those little baby categories...she is a bona fide kid know. Not a toddler, not a pre-schooler, just a kid! A healthy, beautiful, smart, full of happiness and laughter, brimming to the top with drama, compassionate, energetic, creative, sweet kid!
The past 5 years have FLOWN by...so fast it almost has made my head spin at times, and then at other times, it feels like I haven't had a time in my life without her.
Scott, of course, is just as excited as she is about the big milestone birthday. He just doesn't see the sadness in leaving an era in life. To him this is a time of looking forward with anticipation for what is to come with a grown child..."Cut the cord, honey" he says to me laughing(yet so tenderly)...I CANNOT AND WILL NOT...EVER!! This is my baby girl, my first born. Her birth forever changed my life, and now she is five.
Thankfully, in the last week or so, the Lord has opened my eyes to some wonderful things about having a 5 year old. For example, she has started doing chores. Not because we've asked her to, not because we are giving her an allowance, but because she wants to. It's important to a five year old to have a sense of responsibility, and to feel like they are capable of handling things on their own. Also, she is able to (for the most part) take care of herself in the middle of the night. Whether she needs a drink, to go to the bathroom, even when she has a bloody nose, she doesn't bother anyone else. She just takes care of things, and lets us know about it in the morning. I don't have to keep an eagle eye on her any longer, and furthermore, she often takes her brother with her. She can keep herself and her brother entertained for hours some days, and along with that, she has been known to teach her brother how to play games, count, and sing ABC's. She also can cross a street/parking lot without someone having to have a death grip on her, which frees my hands up to make sure my death grip on her brother is just right.
Yes, there are some huge benefits to having a "kid" instead of a "toddler" or a "pre-schooler". I know in time I will think this age is just perfect and will love all the new things she is able to do, and appreciate the new found freedom that is coming my way as a mother of a 5 year old. Then she'll turn six...
On top of having to deal with Delanie turning 5, and most definitely growing out of any baby labels, I am also dealing with the fact that now, my last baby (Paxton), has peed in the potty twice in the last 2 days...Are they trying to kill me?
Thankfully, my very close friend is delivering twin girls tomorrow....God knew just what I needed and right when I needed it. I can't wait to be able to hold one of those little babies. Then when they get cranky, or it's time for me to go to bed, I get to hand them right back over to mom and dad and return home to my five year old girl and my son who is peeing in the potty!
Beautiful isn't it?
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