My Portion Forever

"Whom have I in heaven but you?  And earth has nothing I desire besides you.  My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." -Psalm 73:25-26 NIV


I can't say it any better than the psalmist said it.  As I studied the names of God last week, and specifically looked at His names of sufficiency, these verses, while I have read them before, stopped me in my tracks.  After my breath returned and my eyes were tear free again, I could do nothing but sit and praise.

He is all I need, all I desire, and He is more than enough. 

I know that the above statement is not always how I live, though.  I find myself desiring lesser things.  Things that catch my eye, things that seem like they would make my life so much easier, things that if they worked out just right, well then, THEN! I could really be happy.  Then what happens?  Well, these "things"  are just that: things.  They break, they don't work the way I thought they would,  they don't deliver the happiness that was promised, or the happiness is short lived.  Sure enough, each and every time I left wanting again.  Needing again.  Empty again.  Then something catches my eye.  'Round and 'round we go.

I loved the way Mary Kassian puts it in her study Knowing God by Name she says this about seeking joy apart from God, "Therefore the problem with humans is not that we have pleasure-seeking tendencies but rather that our value judgements are so badly skewed.  We stake our hearts on things of such low worth that our joy is thin, fragile, and easily shattered."

C.S. Lewis also wrote about this subject in The Weight of Glory and Other Addresses:

"We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea.  We are far too easily pleased."

As much as I am embarrassed to admit it, I too seem to think I can find delight in making mud pies when a beach vacation is being offered.  And to make things worse, I get frustrated when my mud pies just weren't all that I hoped they would be.

I set my hope in lesser things. 

I've counted on my joy being complete in things of low worth. 

I should not be surprised at all that I have been disappointed.

However. 

There is something more.  Someone who is enough.  And not just enough, but more than enough. 

Overflowing.

Abundant.

With Him and in Him I "Shall not want" -Psalm 23.

He is "my portion forever."

A Good Reminder

As I have become more and more lazy about Scripture Memory, I decided that these next two weeks I should remember why it's so important that I have scripture buried into my heart.

"My child, pay attention to what I say.  Listen carefully to my words.  Don't lose sight of them.  Let them penetrate deep into your heart, for they bring life to those who find them, and healing to their whole body." -Proverbs 4:20-22 NLT

Mediation and memorization is necessary for penetration. 

And when these precious words penetrate my heart, they bring life and healing to my whole body.

Praise

Oh, Summer!  How time does escape me when you are here!

So three days ago I was due for another Scripture Memory Verse. 

Yea.

I was struggling to find the most perfect verse that would encompass my feelings of praise, awe, and thanksgiving as I have been learning about the different attributes and names of God in my summer Bible study.  This study has opened my eyes to attributes of God that I have never considered, at least not to the depth in which I have studied them.  My love and awe of Him have only intensified.  I wanted a verse that expressed praise and thanksgiving for who He is: Forgiver of my sins, healer, redeemer, good, loving, and merciful.

"Let all that I am praise the Lord;
      may I never forget the good things he does for me.
 ³ He forgives all my sins
      and heals all my diseases.
 ⁴ He redeems me from death
      and crowns me with love and tender mercies.
 ⁵ He fills my life with good things.
      My youth is renewed like the eagle’s!"
-Psalm 103:2-5 NLT

Lord,
Let all that I am praise you for who you are.  May my praise for you always be on my lips.  Constantly remind me, Lord, of all the good things you have done.  You Lord are my redeemer and healer.  While on this earth you do bring relief from my diseases and struggles, however, this relief is only a foretaste of what you have promised for me when we I am with you in Heaven for all of eternity.  My heart is filled with joy at the thought of what lies ahead.  Thank you for the gift of salvation and eternal life with you.
Amen.

Rav-Chesed (Abounding in Love)

Was I five days late with my last Scripture Memory verse?  I don't know.  I am just trying to keep it even.  I might do better if next month I just go back to starting things on time.  The first and fifteenth of every month.  NO EXCUSES!

This week I picked a verse that has already spoken to my heart this year.  However, after doing another Bible study this summer, I now have a new fondness for it. 

In Knowing God by Name by Mary A. Kassian, I am studying all the different names of God.  In knowing each name, understanding what they mean, and seeing them used in scripture, I am feeling like I am getting to know my Lord all over again.  Many of the names given to God are given to reflect a character trait of His, thus, giving me a deeper understanding of who He is.

One of the days this past week, I studied the name Rav-Chesed which means abounding in love.  As I worked through some different verses that spoke specifically of God's love for us, I studied two different words used for love, Ahab and Chesed.  Ahab means "to desire, to breathe after, to be inclined toward, to delight in."  It can be understood as having a warm personal attachment and affection towards another.  This is a kind of love that I can understand.  My head and heart get it.  I have been the giver and receiver of Ahab.  It's the kind of love we see in Zephaniah 3:17 "The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves.  He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” 

Chesed is a different kind of love.  The kind of love that is a bit harder for both my head and heart to grasp.  A love that I don't know if I am capable of giving on my own. 

"Chesed speaks of a love that is firmly rooted in God's character.  In involves loyalty, steadfastness, and covenant commitment as well as kindness tenderness and mercy.  Chesed is the type of love that accepts moral obligation for the welfare of the person loved.  It's a love that doesn't depend on the response or behavior of the receiver, but rather on the steadfast character and commitment of the giver.  Ahab has to do with feelings, whereas chesed implies a mind-set and mode of interaction rooted in deep values." -Knowing God by Name (emphasis mine)


She goes on to state that, "God's love is deeper and more steadfast than that of a mother for her children (Is 49:15, 66:13).  It is so strong that it makes Him stay committed even when His loved ones are not.  It is so deep that it causes Him to feel affection even when they do not."


I don't know about you, but I know that I find it very difficult to love another when I know that they will not be returning the same sentiment.  In fact, I will err on the side of caution, and actually with- hold love from a person, until I know that it's "safe" to love them (meaning they will return my love).  As ugly as this sounds, I might as well get brutally honest here, my heart is incapable of loving and staying committed to loving a person, completely unguarded, unless I feel as though there is some sort of love or affection being returned.  Yet, this is exactly the kind of love that the God of the universe has for me. 

Amazing.

So as I re-read Isaiah 54:10, it had a fresh, new, powerful meaning.

"Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the LORD, who has compassion on you." (Is 54:10 NIV)

"The capacity of God is infinite, so it stands to reason that His love is also infinite...God's love is more than enough...In His infinite wisdom He knows you completely.  He loves you tenderly.  He loves you faithfully."-Knowing God by Name

Doesn't get much better than that, does it?

New Territory

Eeeks!  It seems as though I am super tardy in posting my newest memory verse.  I actually have been thinking about it quite a bit.  So, it's not like I forgot.  There were a couple of verses that I had been pondering, each one speaking to my heart right where it's at.  The thing is, my heart hasn't been in the same place day after day. 

I am in some new uncharted areas in life.  Exploring new ideas and options each day.  My feelings are all over the board, and I can be excited, scared, overwhelmed, and completely full of passion all in a span of five minutes.

Yes, I am sure it's like heaven on earth living with me right now.

Finally, this morning, I decided that Joshua 1:9 was my verse.  I have returned to it several times this past week.  I love the context of what is happening, and am feeling a connection.

Joshua has just become the leader of God's people after Moses's death.  He still has to lead God's people into the Promise Land.  I don't know, but that sounds like some pretty big shoes to fill.  Maybe he was a little scared or unsure?  Maybe he felt a bit overwhelmed or unsure he was up for the task?  It doesn't really say how Joshua is feeling about his new role as leader of the Israelites, but I do know that God tells him three times to be "strong and courageous".   God is also pretty specific that he shouldn't worry because He will be with him in all he does, and also lays out how important it is that Joshua relies on Him for strength and guidance.  I am just guessing, but that probably isn't something God would do if Joshua were all, "Ya, I got it, God, you can count on me.  I've totally got it under control".

Maybe Joshua did, but God just knew better?

Anyway in verse nine, God says "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”(Joshua 1:9 NIV).

As I traverse new territory, and figure out what the stirrings God has given my heart are all about, I will meditate upon this verse.  No matter which way I turn, no matter what new path I decide to take, I have no reason to be afraid or discouraged because The Lord is with me.

New Perspective

It's time for Scripture Memory again!  I am loving my verse for this next two weeks.  First, it's short.  YAY!  Second, it shifts my perspective. 

Which, I need help with.

A lot.

I tend to be a person who focuses on two things: The Bad, and Myself.

Not a good combo.

Here's what God's word says about perspective:

"A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones."
-Proverbs 17:22 ESV

Finding joy is what I want to work on.  Not just for this next two weeks, but I'm going to go all hog wild, and try for the rest of the year!

Seriously, though, it has been our (The Hubs and I) prayer that we would have hearts, minds and mouths that are full of joy, praise, and gratitude despite our circumstances.  Truth be told, it ain't roses over here, but we've been in the muck long enough to know that a "crushed spirit dries up the bones." 

Yup, it's dry alright.

We're ready to stop surviving, and start living again.  This verse reminds me that I must be full of joy or else I'll surely dry up.

It's easy to find joy when I take my eyes off of us/our circumstances (me) and place them on the others around me (family and friends), the simple gifts in my life, and the one who sustains (The Lord Almighty).

Not Much Else to Say

It's time for a new Scripture Memory for May.

First, I can't believe it's May.  The Girl has a mere THREE WEEKS left of school! Oh happy day!

Second, the scripture I picked for the next few weeks needs not a lot of explanation.

(I can hear the collective sigh of relief.)

((I'm cool with it.))

"For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus." -Philippians 1:6 NASB

I took a little break from the personal verses two weeks ago so that I could prepare my heart and mind for Easter.  I loved having that time, by the way.  Now, I am back at it again, and picking verses that speak to my heart.  This one, like the one before it, speaks encouragement.  It simply reminds me that I need not worry that all of this suffering is for not.  I can be confident that He who began it, will not only finish it, but perfect it.  He doesn't start anything without the intention of bringing it to full fruition.

As some of these days have turned into weeks, and now months, I can have full confidence that even though I don't see the work He is doing, it's there.  He is going to bring this work to perfection for the day of Christ Jesus.

I, for one, can't wait.

Because It's Nearly Easter

I am fully aware that I am a couple of days late for Scripture Memory, but since I was late with it at the beginning of the month, I think that means I am right on time.  Right?  Anyway, it's been two weeks, and it's time for some more scripture.

I decided that this time I would focus on Easter since it's around the corner.  I have perused several scriptures that reference the free gift of salvation that comes from Christ, as well as reading the different gospel stories about the crucifixion and the discovery of the empty tomb.  So much to consider.  I decided to go a different route and chose, instead, scripture that prophesied the ultimate sacrifice of the Lord's Servant.  Hundreds of years before Christ came into the world, it was prophesied by Isaiah that the Lord's Servant, Christ, would give of his life, a perfect life, as the atoning sacrifice for our sinful lives.

"He grew up before him like a tender shoot,
   and like a root out of dry ground.
He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,
   nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.
³ He was despised and rejected by mankind,
   a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.
Like one from whom people hide their faces
   he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.
 ⁴ Surely he took up our pain
   and bore our suffering,
yet we considered him punished by God,
   stricken by him, and afflicted.
⁵ But he was pierced for our transgressions,
   he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
   and by his wounds we are healed.
⁶ We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
   each of us has turned to our own way;
and the LORD has laid on him
   the iniquity of us all."
-Isaiah 53:2-6 NIV

I wish I could say that I will be memorizing all of that.  However.  I think I am going to take on the last three verses (4-6). Still a healthy chunk, I think. 

While all of chapter 53 is full of amazing prophecy and wonderful truth, I like that these three verses hit the heart of it all: He undeservedly took on our suffering and pain (vs 4), took the punishment that is due for sin so that we would be healed and have peace (vs 5), and just in case I get all high and mighty and think that I'm not that bad, verse 6 reminds me that ALL have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own ways.  The punishment he took was because of me, and for me.  My sin has nailed Him to the cross.  My sin has put a crown of thorns on His head.  My sin pierced His side.  Mine.

*Lord, allow the gravity of what your Son did in my place to sit heavy on my heart.  Let the truth of what He did in my place fill my heart and mouth with gratitude and praise.  Thank you, Lord, for this free gift of salvation.  Not because of anything I have done, but because of what you have done.  You have created me anew so I can do the good things you had planned for me long ago.  Thank you, Lord for this gift. -Amen.*

"⁸ God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. ⁹ Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. ¹⁰ For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago."
-Ephesians 2:8-10 NLT

I Would Call it Writer's Block, but...

I don't know if I really qualify as a writer.  Nope.  Pretty sure that someone who rambles in an unorganized fashion, sprinkles her ideas with commas and other random punctuation, is completely incompetent at spelling, and only "writes" about three or four times a month is most certainly not a "writer".   However, I will say I am suffering from a severe case of "Writers Block".  Life is most certainly happening all around me, I just am not sure how to put words to what I take in every day.

Good thing I am doing Scripture Memory this year.  That gets me here at least twice a month.

Even if I'm not punctual about it.

So here goes the first memory verse of April 2011.

(Can I just add, that with spring springing up all over the place, and with Easter coming up in a few short weeks, I can't help but think about the "newness" of everything.  New life.  Doesn't it sound amazing!  My prayer right now is that God would bring new life into our home this month.)

So, back with the memory verse. Since I am longing for newness, I think this is appropriate:

"Patient endurance it what you need now, so you will continue to do God's will. Then you will receive all that he has promised." -Hebrews 10:36 NLT 

Patient endurance. 

I can't help but relate this to running.  While I am no marathoner, I have run a few races in the last five years, and in the past year, I have been able to complete a couple of half marathons.  Running does not come easy for me.  In fact, I find myself nursing some sort of injury quite frequently.  Also, I am not fast.  Not even a little.  I'd like to think that I am made for distance and not for speed, however, the injury thing usually creeps in at some point and hampers those aspirations as well. 

It's hard to understand why I would even enjoy running at all.  There really should be no part of me that does.  However, I do.  It's hard, I physically shouldn't be able to do it at all, it takes a lot of effort, but, quite frankly, there is an immense satisfaction that comes from triumphing over it all and completing a distance I didn't think was even possible. 

Patient endurance.

This verse wasn't chosen because I am preparing for a race.  No, I chose it because I feel as though I have been in a race for the past four-ish months now.  I won't tell a lie and say that I am feeling like the finish line is around the corner, and I can just sprint it out.   Instead, I'm not sure where the finish line is.  There is a large temptation to stop running, and maybe walk.  Just a little bit.  Just so I can catch my breath.  Maybe take a swig or two off my water bottle. 

Something I've learned while training for longer distances: Once you go a certain distance, if you stop, you won't start back up again.  Even if you think you could pull out a few more miles if you just stopped, walked a little, took a little drink, you won't.  You will just walk.  Which actually isn't the end of the world if you are training.  If you are in a race, though, especially one that you paid for, it's not ideal.  There's something about walking across a finish line that doesn't sit well with me. 

Unless, of course, you signed up for a walk.  Then you're all good.

While I am not in an actual race, this time in my life feels like a race.  I didn't sign up for it, but I am not walking across the finish line. 

Trust me, the temptation is there.  I've thought about it a time or two, and even slowed my stride to an almost walk.  A "wog" if you will.

God has called me to this "race" to do His will.  While I have said that He is my God and I am His servant in the past many times, those words have never felt heavier than during this time.  I've had to actually live them out.  As a servant, I have been given this portion, and I will say "Yes, Lord."

Please don't think I think that any of this is easy.  It's not.  I also have often thought about those who God calls to run an even harder, longer race than he has given me.  There are so many, and the suffering is so great.  God's will for our lives is not always easy, but it is always for our good and the good of His kingdom, and He is there with us for every step.

As I have "raced" these past few months, God has been gracious in revealing so many wonderful things to me about Himself.  He has also made me more aware of His promises.  They are more than I can imagine, and far more than I deserve.  So, the last part of that verse is crucial.

Why would I not give into the temptations to walk, or quit altogether? "Then you will receive all that he has promised." 


That kind of reward, is better than any race medal I've ever received.

He Will Not Share His Glory with Another

This month has been challenging to find the memory verses that I think will perfectly fit where I am.  Both verses this month took me a while to find.  Alas, only a few days late, I have come up with what I want my heart to rest in for the remainder of March.

"I am doing this so all that see this miracle will understand what it means-that it is the Lord who has done this, the Holy One of Israel who created it." -Isaiah 41:20 NLT

To be truthful, I actually wanted to memorize verses 17-20 in Isaiah 41, but I thought that could be a bit aggressive for my tired brain.  As I studied this section of Isaiah a few weeks ago, these verses stood out to me like God was speaking them Himself right to me.


" ¹⁷ The poor and needy search for water,
   but there is none;
   their tongues are parched with thirst.
But I the LORD will answer them;
   I, the God of Israel, will not forsake them.
¹⁸ I will make rivers flow on barren heights,
   and springs within the valleys.
I will turn the desert into pools of water,
   and the parched ground into springs.
¹⁹ I will put in the desert
   the cedar and the acacia, the myrtle and the olive.
I will set junipers in the wasteland,
   the fir and the cypress together,
²⁰ so that people may see and know,
   may consider and understand,
that the hand of the LORD has done this,
   that the Holy One of Israel has created it."
-Isaiah 41:17-20 NIV

To say that 2011 has been a year where our family has been parched is an understatement.  At times I have felt like we are living in the driest of deserts.  So to come upon this promise in Isaiah where God promises His chosen  and dearly loved people of Israel, people He has allowed to be in captivity, that he will once again make "rivers flow on barren heights and springs within the valleys" and then continues to tell of the lush vegetation-vegetation that has no business being the desert-that will be found there.  Well, I can't help but feel loved, looked after, cared for, and seen.

Yes, God allows times in the desert. Times of hardship, times of struggle, times of suffering.  They aren't fun, but they are necessary.  These are times in which we are refined.  As much as I like to think that I practice what I preach, and that my heart truly believes what my head knows, well, that would be a lie.  And like any good parent, any loving parent, God cannot stand to watch me wallow around in my own mess for too long.   While our time in the desert has not been fun, I feel as though it has been fruitful.  While the way things used to be seemed to be much easier or seemed good, they were not the best.  God wants our best.

So, while I (our family) may be in the desert, this promise tells me "But I the LORD will answer them; I, the God of Israel, will not forsake them."  Once again we will see rivers, springs, and lush vegetation in this desert.  And why?  Why would God do all of this?  The key is in verse 20 (my memory verse) "so that people may see and know, may consider and understand, that the hand of the LORD has done this, that the Holy One of Israel has created it." or in the NLT "I am doing this so all that see this miracle will understand what it means-that it is the Lord who has done this, the Holy One of Israel who created it."  

It's for His glory.

Lord, may you and you alone receive the glory for the work you are doing in our lives.  May people see and know that it was You who has done all these things, and know that you are a God who loves, who rescues, who saves.  May we be small so you will be large. -Amen.

A Little Behind Schedule

I realized the day that I was supposed to blog about my scripture memory verse was the day that I posted all those pictures.  Well, I am weird and didn't want them to share a post.  Kind of like making sure none of your food touches on your plate.  Except for meatloaf, potatoes, and broccoli.  Because the three of those together? pure Heaven, I tell you.

Anyway, I was trying to make my post about scripture memory be only about scripture memory.  Sticking with the whole, "Scripture Meeting Me Right Where My Life Is" theme, I am going with one of the scriptures that I heavily considered two weeks ago, and my mind has been meditating on ever since.

"And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you." 1Peter 5:10 ESV

I cannot get over the fact that it will be God Himself that will "restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish" me.  It also reminds me of the truth that God is in control of our situation.  Yes, there is suffering.  He sees that.  He knows full well the extent to which we are suffering.  He not only sees and knows, but He is also concerned.  And after "a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore" me/our situation/our family.  He who knows, sees, and is concerned about our suffering will be the one who also restores me/us/our family, and it will be under His control, His timing, His sovereignty, and His supremacy.  And why?  Because we have been called to "his eternal glory in Christ".

Sometimes we are allowed to suffer in order to bring glory to God.  In His restoration, healing, and strengthening of our family, it is my prayer that all of this will bring much glory to God.

Truth

 ⁹ "Remember the things I have done in the past.
      For I alone am God!
      I am God, and there is none like me.
 ¹⁰ Only I can tell you the future
      before it even happens.
   Everything I plan will come to pass,
      for I do whatever I wish."
-Isaiah 46:9-10 NLT

There are many reasons why I chose these verses as my memory verses for the next few weeks.  We all have issues, struggles,  and/or times of hardship.  While I may choose to keep many things private, for all kinds of reasons, I am not immune to these valleys in life.  Times when I just want to know when it all will come to an end.  Times when I feel all alone.  Times when I doubt.  But in these times these verses pull me back to truth.

The truth is I can and should think about all the things God has done for me in the past.  And if I have forgotten, He is faithful to remind me.  When I think upon His faithfulness, goodness, love, sovereignty, mercy, and grace I can be reminded that He has always held me close, never let me go, and always has my good in mind.  So in times of doubt, the first thing these verses remind me is to do is "Remember".

Next, is a reminder of who I am putting my trust in.  The one and only God.  There is none like him!  He is all powerful, all knowing, mighty, loving, and sovereign, among many other things.

Lastly, in times of uncertainty, I usually find myself desperate to know what is going to happen.  The last verses remind me that I need not look any further than God.  He is the ONLY one who knows what will happen before I do.  Despite my feelings of things spiraling out of control, He is totally in control.  All of the time.  Nothing happens that is a surprise to Him, and nothing happens without Him allowing it to happen.  I may not understand why things happen or how they will turn out, but I do have these promises:
¹¹ "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.""-Jeremiah 29:11

And:
 ²⁸ "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." -Romans 8:28

And:
³¹ "What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? ³² He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?" -Romans 8:31-32

Among many others.

My other memory verses have also been so crucial to my heart this year.  I am so thankful that God's word is being etched in my heart.  Because, honestly? it's scary how easy I can believe in a lie.  However, week by week, it is getting easier and easier to combat them.

"Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. ¹⁴ Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, ¹⁵ and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. ¹⁶ In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷ Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God." -Ephesians 6:13-17

Turns Out -11 Degrees Can Be Quite Wonderful

Due to frigid temps, schools all across the state have been canceled.  And not just today, tomorrow too. 

Happiness.


Due to the frigid temps, not a single person in our home got out of their Jammies today.

More happiness.

Due to frigid temps we all ate, watched TV, ate, took in a few movies, ate, played Lego's, ate, read, ate, stayed under blankets, and ate. 

Oh! The happiness!  It is uncontainable!

And just so we're clear, I wasn't the only one who was happy.  Oh, no!  Both children were beside themselves.  I thought the roof  was going to blow clean off the house when the phone calls/emails came pouring in last night canceling school and all events for the next few days.  The hooting and hollering and all around merriment about caused the house to explode. 

It was a happy time.

It made me think, maybe I'm not the only one who needs a break?  Maybe we all feel a little bit busy?

Whatever it is, the rest is very much appreciated by all. 

Which brings me to my next topic.  Have you heard about this idea about picking one word to describe what your focus will be for the year?  I heard about it last year, and found it totally fascinating.  Also, because I am a person of such few words, *ahem* a little bit challenging.  But in a good way.  So I tried it.  Last year, I chose the word "Others", and I can say, while I still could use a TON of work in this area, I feel like God really changed my view on thinking of others rather than myself.  I became much more aware of others needs, and in general became much more "Others-Focused". 

This year, I am going to do it again.  I really feel like God is trying to teach me about being still this year.  I don't know if you have noticed, but lately I have been a little bit obsessed with finding/getting some rest.  Also, I have found that sitting, being patient, and just waiting in general are not my strong suits.  No, in fact The Hubs teases me because he thinks I am always just trying to find a way to make myself busy.   So this year, my word will be "Still".   Interestingly enough, God has really been pointing me to a lot of verses, as of late, that have to do with being still or with waiting on Him, and the benefits stillness reaps. 

Speaking of verses, (oh, I am the queen of segues tonight!) it is time for me to pick my third memory verse of the year.  If you want to know the other verses that are now sown into my heart, see them here and here.  This month, with some difficult circumstances facing our family, I would like to focus on the truth that God is always with us, and not only is He with us, He is mighty to save us.  Here is Isaiah 43:1-3a NLT:

¹ "But now, O Jacob, listen to the Lord who created you.
      O Israel, the one who formed you says,
   “Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you.
      I have called you by name; you are mine.
 ² When you go through deep waters,
      I will be with you.
   When you go through rivers of difficulty,
      you will not drown.
   When you walk through the fire of oppression,
      you will not be burned up;
      the flames will not consume you.
 ³ For I am the Lord, your God,
      the Holy One of Israel, your Savior." --Is 43:1-3a NLT

Seems too good to be true, doesn't it?  I don't know, when I read this today, I felt a wave of relief wash over my whole body.  It was like I could breath again.  I just can't get enough of the way God reaches into the depths of my heart with His word.  Amazing.

I am a little intimidated by how long it is, but I couldn't figure out a way to trim it down.  It was all way too good.  I figured the Lord allowed me to  memorized Philippians 4:6-8, so let's keep it going.  I did have a hard time deciding if I was going to use the NLT or the Message for this.  Check out  how beautiful the Message says these same verses:

"But now, God's Message, the God who made you in the first place, Jacob,
   the One who got you started, Israel:
"Don't be afraid, I've redeemed you.
   I've called your name. You're mine.
When you're in over your head, I'll be there with you.
   When you're in rough waters, you will not go down.
When you're between a rock and a hard place,
   it won't be a dead end—
Because I am God, your personal God,
   The Holy of Israel, your Savior."
Isaiah 43:1-3a The Message

So good.

With as much as the other two verses have helped my heart, I cannot wait to see how God uses these verses.

Now, it's time to get to some warm brownies. 

Bringing More Mediocre News

Many things have happened, been said, and were totally blog-able in the last two weeks.  Life is super busy now that school is back in session, and before I know it, another week has zipped right past me.

Both kids have started up with their winter activities.  The Girl is in cheer leading and The Little Man is doing basketball.  I am happy to say, that both are enjoying them very much.  After last year's basketball season, the thought of asking The Girl if she wanted to play again this year, actually made me sweat a little. I was praying she would say no.  Let's just say that team sports are not her forte.  I was thrilled when she asked to do cheer leading instead.  I guess I was thrilled that she was steering clear of the team sport thing more so than the fact that she chose cheer leading.

After cheering at her first game last weekend, I can say, I am very happy with her choice.  It just fits her so well.  The Hubs actually was a little teary when we watched her cheer saying that it just made his heart so happy to see her doing something that made her so happy.  I am by no means saying that we have a future in the cheer leading business, but she is very happy cheering. So happy, in fact, she is going to be having a cheer party this year for her birthday (which she allowed me to throw her a full 3 weeks late, thankyouverymuch).

The Little Man also loves basketball.  This isn't his first season in basketball, but it is his first season where he actually plays "games" against another team.  I say "games" because our last "game" involved little people getting hold of a basketball and then looking for their parents in the stands with a face that said "Now what?" The parent that belonged to the child would then instruct them what to do next.  While most of the kids on the team are great at dribbling, passing, and shooting, I think it might be asking a bit much for five year olds to understand the "game" part of basketball.  They were all constantly confused on if  they should be asking for the ball and trying to get open or if they were supposed to be blocking the shot.  And what in the name is a re-bound?  Let's just say, it was a very LONG game.  Conveniently, I had a photo shoot scheduled for the second "game".  I am sure that by the end of the season, we will see considerable improvement in the "game" part of basketball.

Maybe.

We've also enjoyed a Snow Day.  Again, I don't know who gets more excited about getting out of school, me or the kids.  Well, actually, I know that The Girl was VERY excited.  She's been experiencing some dread towards school these days.  Again.  I think having time off from school actually makes it harder for her to want to go back, instead of the opposite.  Actually, the problem isn't school itself.  She likes her teacher, has friends, and enjoys learning.  She just hates homework.  And if you are going to school, you get homework.  Truth be told, I kind of agree with her.  I understand the purpose of homework, but they could ease up a bit.  Oh well. 

Because of the Snow day last week, a teacher in-service the week before, and now Martin Luther King Jr's birthday, we have had three four day weeks in a row.  I think that is pretty awesome.  Now, I just have to work on getting The Girl back into the swing of things.

Or we could just keep having snow days.

Of course I wouldn't be too happy about missing school for snow days in May.

I'm just never satisfied.

In other news, God was gracious and merciful to my mommy brain, and I was able to memorize my Bible verse by the middle of this month.  I took that as encouragement to try to tackle two verses a month instead of one.  My new verse is from Psalms and goes:

"But when I am afraid, I will put my trust in you.  I praise God for what he has promised.  I trust in  God, so why should I be afraid?  What can mere mortals do to me? -Psalm 56:3-4 NLT.

I have a feeling I will have plenty of opportunity to work this scripture into my head (and heart, prayerfully) while The Hubs does some traveling soon.  I am hoping that this verse will help remind me of all the times God has been so faithful to me with some fears that I struggle with.  I think it goes well with the second part of my scripture from earlier in the month "Finally brothers (sisters too!) whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things".  If I am thinking about such things, I should be remembering all that God has promised to me, and since He is trustworthy and faithful to His promises, I should not be afraid.   See how it all goes together?  Oh good, I love it when we are all on the same page.

Since I seem to be experiencing some writers block with the blog, I hope to be back this week a few times with some ideas that I am totally stealing from other bloggers.  I think they were cute ideas, and am hoping not only to get some fun information documented in the blog, but also get some creative juices flowing again.

We all will be thankful when that happens.

There Isn't a Bow Big Enough to Tie This Post Together

So, you might have guessed, but my New Year's resolution list didn't include blogging more.  Good thing!  I have already gotten a big fat "F" on that!

In all seriousness, I have absolutely enjoyed this Christmas break with the kids.  We have had a great time together, and I have had a wonderful break from all things "regularly scheduled".   Truth be told, I would take another week in a heart beat!

Since Christmas we have had a couple of jammie days, a play date, caught up with some chores, watched a ton of movies, gone bowling,  celebrated my dad and The girl's birthday (with my side of the family), and ushered in the New Year with friends and family.

Sadly, tomorrow we are back into reality in a rough way.  I don't think my calendar could possibly hold one more "event".   I keep reminding myself that we are halfway there (to the end of the school year).

Speaking of "Events" tomorrow's main event: The Girl's EIGHTH birthday! Can you believe it?  I can't, and I was the one who gave birth to her.  Sweet mercy.

Thankfully, she has been so kind to me and has allowed for me to postpone throwing her a party until the end of the month.  Here's to hoping I can use the time wisely and pull it all together.

Since we are on the subject of The Girl, I thought I would share a little conversation she had with The Little Man today while they waited with me at the Chiropractic office.  For some reason, while I lay on the heated roller (like a heated massage table) they usually like to hide in the corner and scare the doctor when she comes in to get me.  Thankfully, our doctor is also a mom, is totally easy going, and completely loves children.

p: Sister, are you going to come over and hide with me? I think she is almost coming!
d: No, bro.  I am going to sit right here.  I don't like hiding anymore.
p: What?  Why?
d: Because, bro, hiding is for babies.  I don't know....I just think it's baby-ish.  I guess I've grown out of it now that I'm turning eight tomorrow.
p: huh?
me: Come on.  Just play with your brother.  It's OK to play with him.
d: No.  I don't want to.
p: Why not?
d: Because it was just a phase I went through for a time, and now I am all grown out of it.  I'm sorry, but you're still in the middle of that phase, and I'm all done with it.
p: Huh?
d: Young kids go through phases.  It's just what they do.  Now I'm eight, and I am all done with that phase.

Since I was almost choking trying to stifle my laughter, I didn't end up convincing her to hide with her brother.

And in absolutely no connection with what is being talked about, I would like to discuss New Year's Resolutions.  Do you make them?  Do you keep them?

For me it's more like goals.  I don't care when they are accomplished, but I do have in my heart what I would like to see happen in the next year.   I don't know how to really describe it, but I am not all about "No sugar" or "Exercise 5x a week" or "Read 15 books" or "Blog everyday".  It's more like I have a desire to see growth in my life or faith walk.  Not that those other types of resolutions are things I scoff at, just that I know for a fact that I will not keep a single resolution.  I can't.

OK.  I probably could, but the pressure!  Oh, the pressure is too much!

So, I do have one thing I will be working on this year, that I will share, and will probably share throughout the year (that's at least my hope...if the pressure doesn't kill me first).  I am going to work really hard at scripture memorization.  This is something I am really bad at.  Seriously.  As I walk through this life, and in it's valleys and peaks, I would just really love to have God's word imprinted in my heart. 

(See, right now, I know that there are TONS of scripture that talk about how important it is and how beneficial it is to have God's work tucked away in your heart, but guess what?  Can't recall them exactly or know their references.  Point made)

So I am going for 12 new scriptures written on my heart this year.  Once a month, I'll have a new one to work on and work through. I am hoping each one will meet me where I am at, and as I review them at the end of the year, it will be kind of like a review of my year.

Right now, I am going through a time in which I am pretty anxious.  There are many things that worry me, and a few that will actually keep me up at night or cause slight panic during the day.  As I have prayed through this, the Holy Spirit has been merciful enough to show me that I have a control problem.  The need to control is rooted, for me, out of lack of trust.  It gets pretty messy at times.  So here is January's memory verse (although, I know there are plenty of scripture that talk about trusting and worry, I am going with this one this month and we'll see where February takes me.).

⁶ "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  ⁸ Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."
Philippians 4:6-8


WHEW!

That's a big one!

That's OK. Truth be told, I am kind of cheating on this first go 'round.  I had this verse a few years ago in a study, and was supposed to memorize it then.   Didn't work out so well.

It will now though!

I even have a cute little spiral bound note cards so I can take my verses everywhere and work on them whenever I have a couple of minutes. 

I can hardly wait to see what scripture God has waiting for me this year.