Returning From Captivity

So, I thought I was only half-joking in my last post when I said I felt like I was being held hostage. That is, until I was finished with the project that put me into captivity.

Last night as I put the finishing touches on said project, I felt such a sense of relief and freedom, that I realized I was in fact being held hostage by a silly project. How did I let that happen? What about all the good times I missed out on? Will I get those back? Will my family remember the old me? The me BEFORE "The Project" started? The one that actually did crack a smile, says more than just grumbles, and doesn't normally walk around with a stomp in my step?

Instead of trying to sift through all those questions, and wonder if they really will ever forgive me for the last WEEK AND A HALF, I decided I am going to just jump back into life with both feet. I have missed out in the joy decorating the house with Christmas trees, nativity scenes, and winter foliage of all sorts. Yesterday, I finished up the last bit of decorating and cleaning, and have loved every moment of my decorated home today, even as the snow fell.

Yup, happiness as snow fell. I think I officially used up all my grouchy, and can't even muster up any grumblings about the snow.

I might re-do our traditional Polar Express night. I was so tired from working that entire day, that I fought with myself for the full length of the movie to stay awake. I was nodding off to sleep at 6:45! I am sure I won't have to fight the kids too hard to have hot cocoa and watch a movie snuggled up in bed. They had a great time the first time around.





As I walked around the house picking up all the loose ends that had accumulated during my absence, I found this and smiled:

In case you aren't able to read either microscopically or through the inventive spelling, this is a list The Girl made for her and her brother. It is their Christmas wish list. On The Girl's side we have: a box of mints, Wowee Alive Cubs (the polar bear), and a picture of your (Santa's) reindeer. Her brother would like: Spike the Dinosaur, a Batman costume, and a toy car.

When she made it a few days ago, I looked it over and felt overwhelmed. I laughed on the outside, but cringed on the inside as I thought about how only few of those wishes would come true. I mean, how am I going to get a picture of Rudolph?

Today, I smiled. I looked carefully at the effort she put into the list. I thought about how thoughtful it was of her to ask her brother what he wanted too. I thought about how she loves the little things like mints, which when I asked her about why she wanted mints so bad she responded with, "I want my OWN box of mints to keep in my room so at nap time I can have one and eat it all up and stay nice and quiet."

DONE.

There will be mints under the tree.

There have also been several readings of the Grinch Who Stole Christmas so far these last few days. Along with a fresh word I received at a recent Women's Christmas Event, I have been savoring the words at the end of the story when the Grinch realizes that Christmas hasn't come to a stop because he has taken all the stuff away.

"How could it be so? It came without ribbons! It came without tags! It came without packages, boxes, or bags!"... " 'Maybe Christmas,' he thought, 'doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!' ".

Well, DUH.

Somehow, though, I needed that children's book and the Women's Christmas Event to remind me that instead of running around like crazy doing projects and keeping up with "traditions" that I needed to be mindful of the truth behind the traditions.

The Truth is what we celebrate.

I'm glad I got all of that out of my system early.