Sometimes it Takes a Good Run to Get Your Head Screwed on Right

Life is full of struggles. Some are huge, while others just seem huge at first, then with twenty- twenty-hind-sight, they seem pretty small. Some struggles you will never forget. They grow you into who you are today. Other struggles you totally forget, and something will trigger a memory from that time. During that recollection you'll think to yourself, "Wow! I totally forgot all about that. I really thought it was the end of the world when "xyz" was going on." I never want to struggle in vain, I always want to grow from pain, but I hope this time of struggle is one I can wipe clean from my memory slate.

As I ran today, I spent time trying to figure out why I continue to stumble over a very small rock in my road. I came to realize that I have been holding onto this situation with a white knuckle grip. I kept asking God to please help me. I want to move on so badly. He pressed upon my heart that I have never let go of the situation. He can't fix something I won't surrender to Him completely. All this time I have been feeling like, "Well, if I just do this one thing," and, "I won't let this happen again," and, "I'll just not say this type of thing anymore."

While I don't think that God wants me to sit back and do absolutely nothing about this particular stumbling block, I also know he can't do anything at all until I fully trust and am at peace with the fact that He is in control. Ultimately, I can only do so much. After that it's up to Him. No matter how much I want a particular result to come about, I HAVE to be OK with it not turning out the way I want it to. I have to trust that if God says "No" to me, that it's because He is planning a bigger "Yes" for me later on down the road.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."--Romans 8:28

Each day when I surrender my life to serve Him for the day, I have to do just that: Surrender. I know that this doesn't sound like rocket science here, but I think I say I would like to work and serve according to God's will, but then I still want to complete my agenda too. There is absolutely no way my agenda can be as wonderful as the one He has already planned out for me way in advance.

"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." --Ephesians 2:10

As I finished my run, I felt such a sense of peace. I feel like I have finally let go of this situation, and I know whatever comes about it is for my good. I know that I have a God that can conquer anything that is set before me. Struggling through something doesn't mean that He isn't there or doesn't care. Quite the opposite. It means He loves me enough to grow me. I can't complete the works He has for me without this growth. I've gotten so used to giving up when things get difficult. I use the excuse that, "It wasn't in His will for this to happen. It's just too hard." I am learning daily that hard work doesn't equal "not meant to be". It means simply, work harder! He's got something for me, but it's going to take some effort, a little sweat, maybe some tears, and a whole bunch of being on my knees before Him.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you."--Jeremiah 29:11-14

I am comforted in the fact that regardless of what happens in this particular situation, He has plans for me, and they are good.

Glory.