It was four years ago that I was pushing my daughter through uncharted territory in a shopping cart. We had gone to a Super Center that I was not familiar with to find a newly released movie on DVD that, if purchased at said Super Center, came with a free gift. Since I didn't know my way around the store very well, I wanted to keep The Girl entertained while I concentrated on finding the loot. My entertainment of choice happened to be Reese's Peanut Butter Bites.
She eyed them closely before popping one into her mouth. I just laughed because I knew she would just light up with enthusiasm for these yummy chocolate covered peanut butter treats. Instead of gleefully asking for another one, she stopped in the middle of chewing that first bite and started screaming. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she, "Hated this snack. It was so yucky." She was simultaneously spitting the treat out all over her shirt and into her hands, and then smearing it everywhere while she frantically tried to get it out of her mouth. Since she was a few months short of turning three, she was having a difficult time expressing to me that not only did she not like the flavor of these treats, but her mouth was actually on fire and swelling up. She was having an allergic reaction to the peanut butter, but couldn't tell me what was going on due to her age, and the fact that she had never experienced anything like it before.
I did what all good mothers do. I promptly took her out of the store without her movie because I thought she was being dramatic and wouldn't stop throwing a fit.
I feel like I will never live that down.
As her reaction progressed over the next 30 minutes, I even sent her to her room.
I was desperately seeking that coveted Mother of the Year Award.
Thankfully, I had some divine intervention and decided to call my mom, who is a nurse, to complain about my daughter's weird behavior. She quickly brought light to the situation, and helped me to realize what was really going on. After phone calls to doctors offices and emergency rooms she was, thankfully, OK.
Since that day, we have been living with the reality of our daughter having a food allergy. Not just a few hives or maybe an upset tummy afterward, but a food allergy that causes anaphylaxis. With that we have her tested every year to make sure that it isn't getting any worse.
Sometimes (very rarely) kids can grow out of food allergies, but peanut allergies are the least likely food allergy to outgrow. Only 10% of kids outgrow a peanut allergy. Last years test results indicated that maybe, just maybe, she may be outgrowing this allergy. Further testing earlier this year indicated otherwise. This year's testing, proved those tests right.
Today as we did our annual test, The Girl did not do so well. She was such a trooper while receiving the scratch with the peanut protein on it. Usually, this is the area of greatest difficulty. After the nurse left, she boasted about how well she did with the "shot". Quickly after that, she burst into tears. She exclaimed that she couldn't take the pain anymore. It was burning and itching and she was having a hard time handling it. I tried scratching her back to see if that would help (the test was done on her forearm). Then I gave her a piece of gum and told her to chomp down on it really hard when it was itching too much for her to think. That seemed to do the trick. Unfortunately, her reaction site exploded into a huge hive. The doctor didn't even have to come into the room to tell me what I could already plainly see. She had not grown out of her allergy, and in fact it looked as if it had gotten worse.
They got her all cleaned up, and put some soothing cream on the reaction site. We were to wait there until the doctor came back into the room with our paperwork and prescription. As we waited, The Girl called for me, "Momma, I think I am going to throw up all over the place!" I looked up from my magazine to see my girl as white as a sheet, lips white, and eyes totally glazed over. I grabbed a trash can for her. Then I opened the exam room door and called for some help. Thankfully, they responded quickly with some antihistamine and all was good.
Let me tell you, it scared me to death. This wasn't like the first time when I had no clue what was going on, and only in hindsight could understand the seriousness of it all. This time I knew exactly what was happening right then and there. She was having an allergic reaction that could have possibly been life threatening.
She looked so little and fragile. I still can't get the image out of my head. I realized as I sat there and waited for the medicine to fully take effect, that I needed to see this. This needed to happen. I don't think in the past year or so that I have been taking this condition as seriously as I needed to. I have been horribly unprepared for the worst, and the worst is something I can't even think about. I needed to be reminded that this food allergy is serious business. Her life is just that much more fragile.
As we loaded into the car to go home, my head continued to spin with the thoughts of what had just happened, and the "What If's", and the "What am I going to do's". Then, as I started the car, the radio was playing "Spoken For" by Mercy Me. The chorus in that song that always makes me feel so loved and so cozy. It goes: "Covered by your love divine, child of the risen Lord. To hear you say, 'This one's mine', my heart is spoken for."
This time I didn't think about myself. This time I heard those words spoken about my daughter. He was reminding me, that I need not worry. She is His. He has already spoken for her. He's got her in His sight, and he doesn't blink. He loves her even more than I do. He's got it covered.
Praise you God! Thank you for never taking your eyes off of your children, and loving them even more than we ever could.
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