As I walked into the room, there were eight of them. Girls? No, they are too old to be referred to as girls. Women? No way. Too young. Young ladies? I don't know. That doesn't seem to fit either. It's certainly not what society would call them. Young ladies carries the connotation that these girls are proper, well behaved, clean cut, gentle spirited, maybe even refined. I'm not sure I'd use even one of those words to describe these eight, but it's hard to tell in here. This place where they all wear orange. This place where they must act infinitely more callous and guarded than any girl actually is or should have to be. The wounds they carry are already bone deep.
Yet, here they all are. And here I am.
I've never been here with a group this large. Usually, when I come only one or two is interested in what I have to share. The rest do what they do. I've even been scowled and hissed at. This time, all but one sit and wait for me.
Introductions are made, some small talk ensues, and we all try to get comfortable. Physically and emotionally. I think we all feel a little raw. In the rawness, I open up a balm. I've learned it's the only balm of it's kind. 100% effectiveness. It soaks into the places you never thought anything could reach, soothes aches you didn't know existed, and it brings a healing that leaves you better than new. It breathes life. It is life. Life in words. The Word.
They want to know how I know these "stories" are true. How can I be so sure? There are so many other theories. We work through the doubts and skeptical questions. We try to figure out all the angles.
They want impenetrable proof.
Then I tell them that the proof is when the truth lives in them. When you allow Him in something happens. The transformation is inexplicable, yet you completely understand. You are free. Your past disappears. You no longer live under a continuous, low-lying, black cloud. A strong wind has blown and magnificently cleared the air. A new power is in operation. The Spirit of life.
I tell them they will know it's truth because they will feel the freedom of choice. No longer having to only act and react in the same ways that have previously caused chaos, wounds, and death. Now they will have a choice. And with that choice, a source of strength that allows them to make choices that are beyond what they are capable of. Beyond what they would even dream of. Choices that bring peace, love, and life. They will be free to take off their old ways, and put on new ways.
Lastly, I tell them they will know because not only will they feel love, they will freely give it. That not only will they live in forgiveness they, themselves, will be able give, in trust and in understanding. Trusting that they are loved and forgiven, and understanding of who we all really are.
The impenetrable truth will be them. It will be their lives. It will be how they live. That's how we know. There are no conspiracy theories that can change the truth of which they will live. It will be theirs. Something all their own.
Nervously, I ask if any of the eight would like to pray with me, asking for the Spirit of life to take residence in their hearts. In this place, many don't like that question. It's far too vulnerable. At first it was two. Then it was four. And as we bowed our heads to the One who makes all things new, I hear seven of them pray out loud with me.
And that's how I know it's truth. I've seen it. I've lived it. I've watched as He works. Right in front of my eyes, he has made beauty from ashes. Taken death and turned it into life.
They are older than girls, but not quite yet women. Their new names are, Daughters of the One True King.
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
He is Infinitely More
As I sat on the beach on the Big Island, I thought to myself, "I don't think it can get much better than this. Then, I opened my book and read this quote:
"Every time you feel in God's creatures something pleasing and attractive, do not let your attention be arrested by them alone, but, passing them by, transfer your thought to God and say "O my God, if Thy creations are so full of beauty, delight, and joy, how infinitely more full of beauty, delight, and joy art Thou Thyself, Creator of all!" --Nicodemus of the Holy Mountain.
Here is some of the beauty I took in and experienced. To think of it as just a foretaste of what's to come, is more than my heart can handle.
By far, the best part of this trip was to see God's fingerprint everywhere I looked.
Praise you, Lord, creator of all things.
"Every time you feel in God's creatures something pleasing and attractive, do not let your attention be arrested by them alone, but, passing them by, transfer your thought to God and say "O my God, if Thy creations are so full of beauty, delight, and joy, how infinitely more full of beauty, delight, and joy art Thou Thyself, Creator of all!" --Nicodemus of the Holy Mountain.
Here is some of the beauty I took in and experienced. To think of it as just a foretaste of what's to come, is more than my heart can handle.
By far, the best part of this trip was to see God's fingerprint everywhere I looked.
Praise you, Lord, creator of all things.
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Is Anyone Out there?
You may have thought I had forgotten my Blogger password. You would be wrong. As embarrassing as it is, the truth is, I just haven't been here in over a month. Yes. I believe it has been longer than five weeks. In all fairness, I think the last post was a fair warning. The kids are keeping me so busy, and time moves so quickly. While to me it feels like I just posted yesterday, reality says it has been over five weeks. It's a bit sobering.
While I would love to dive into each item I'm going to share here and make it it's own post, it just isn't going to happen. Also, I don't feel like I can come here after so long and not do a catch up. Here's to hoping that catching up on the blog is not all I do this year.
Like I mentioned before, the kids are still no joke. Their activities are large and in-charge. Combined with homework, we barely have time to sit and watch TV. I know. The horror of it all. Currently, we are in Jiu Jitsu twice a week, Battle of the Books (which ends on Wednesday, but more on that later), AWANA (which we've skipped since the beginning of February because we can't fit it in), and we are between basketball and soccer season. I can barely talk about that last item. Soccer season. I'm not, and never desired to be a "soccer mom". I don't really like the sport all that much, but even more so, I do not like that this sport takes place outside during the craziest weather seasons Colorado has to offer. I have no love in my heart for sitting outside for an hour freezing my tail off in either frigid temps, snow, rain, or high (freezing cold) winds. But let's get real. We live in Colorado. We often see all of those things in the course of an hour. Easily. I'm no friend of cold weather. Combine that with a game that holds my attention for a short time, and I'm out. Apparently, I'm one of the few. My son may be one of the only kids on his team that will be playing soccer for the first time this season. I will try not to complain about this anymore. The Little Man is over the moon that his, "mommy finally let me play the game I love the most." I'm a horrible, selfish mother.
The Girl is about to wrap up Battle of the Books this season, tomorrow. I'm proud to say that they won the area championships last week and tomorrow her team will be battling it out for top seat in the district! It's been a very happy time in this house since Friday when they won. They made it to the same spot last year and lost. So, this year's win was that much sweeter. I'm both excited and nervous for her. I know these kids really know their stuff, and they'll do their very best. I just hope for her, it gets them a win. Will she survive if it doesn't? Absolutely. However, I can't help but want this for her. I'll have to keep the blog updated....you know in a few months.
Um, oh yea, I went to Hawaii. Never in my whole life did I ever think I would say that I have been to Hawaii (or any of the the Hawaiian islands) twice in less than a year. Never. I mean, I never stepped foot on an island until The Hubs and I celebrated our 10th anniversary in 2010. Also, I never thought it possible for us to go there and not pay a red cent for our flight, hotel, or 90% of what we ate. It was a true gift and blessing for Scott and I to be able to go on this trip at the end of February without our kids, and an even bigger blessing that my in-laws were so willing to keep our kids for the five days we were gone. It was a sweet time of slowing down and reconnecting as a couple. Not to mention spending time with my parents (who also came with us) and just feeling spoiled. God's creation absolutely floors me. I know I have heard people "ooo" and "ahhh" over the mountains. Their majestic beauty is something to notice for sure. However, the beach, the ocean, the tropical plant life, and sea life do it for me. I can't tell you how many times I had to stop, catch my breath, and then just praise Him for all He has made, and His creativity and power in it all. From lava flows and volcanoes, to watching whales play in the ocean, splashing their whale tales, I was astounded by the beauty of all of it. I am hoping to spend a post on this later, including pictures.
The Hubs has been on a serious diet for the last five weeks. I totally blame this diet for the lack of blogging. Totally. He has been gluten free, yeast free, and sugar free since February 11th. The gluten and sugar are actually not too difficult. Challenging, yes. Difficult, not so much. I mean, 15% of the country is gluten free which means at the super markets in my area, I can find numerous products that are either made without gluten, or are naturally gluten free. They are all clearly labeled and easy to find. Also, when I search the internet, there is a wealth of information, recipes, and advice from so many people who have gone before and paved the way. The yeast piece of this diet? Yea. It's REALLY difficult. Yeast is in everything, and it is not clearly labeled, and not many people have paved the way here. In all seriousness, this diet became a full-time job for me for at least 3 weeks. I spent probably 40+ hours a week researching about the diet, finding recipes, searching for substitutes, shopping for new foods, finding stores where the new products were sold, etc. I went from rocking dinner about 95% of the time to only serving something somewhat tolerable about one in every four to five dinners. The other dinners we gagged back, and it pains me to say, we would just throw out a lot of stuff. The diet was supposed to help resolve some major inflammation in his body, thus helping in some other health issues that he battles everyday. While inflammation is down and he has lost 30 pounds, we aren't quite sure that anything else has been fixed or alleviated. However, my husband is determined to follow this through to the end. So, two more weeks of this, and we'll try something different. It should be interesting, to say the least. Also, it has reopened my eyes to the crud we put into our bodies each day. No wonder we are breaking down and have so many different ailments. I'm convinced that we, as a society, are slowly killing ourselves with our food. That's a whole different topic, and I better stop there.
My youngest sister got engaged. Yup! I could not be happier for her or her man. They will say "I do" on August 1st this year. It is a speedy engagement, but it will be full of fun and special times. I can not wait to celebrate her in this precious season of her life. My kids are just as excited, and I have especially loved watching them take in this special time. The Girl is all about the ring, the dress, and the romance of it all. The Little Man has been very sweet in praying for her stress levels. Making sure to ask God for His help for her to get done what needs to be done, and that she'll be happy with all the decisions that are made. He also is quick to tell people that his aunt is going to get married and he'll have a new uncle. Precious.
Combining the trip to Hawaii and daylight savings, proved to be extremely difficult. I suffered from some serious jet lag due to the time change and the red eye flight that we had to make, twice (our airplane broke down leading to a canceled flight, and then we had to take another red-eye the next evening with no sleep during the day in between). Just when I was catching up, painfully I might add, the time change came, and I was off again. I'm convinced that this exhaustion led to my first cold in about four years. I had forgotten how miserable you feel when your head is congested and your body is just crummy feeling all over. Thankfully, I was able to fight it off in about five-ish days. I really reevaluating the way I treat the kids and The Hubs when they are sick. Compassion and grace are good things.
Here's to hoping I make it back again before another month goes by. I do miss it here, but have been writing in my journal frequently. One day I hope to share.
While I would love to dive into each item I'm going to share here and make it it's own post, it just isn't going to happen. Also, I don't feel like I can come here after so long and not do a catch up. Here's to hoping that catching up on the blog is not all I do this year.
Like I mentioned before, the kids are still no joke. Their activities are large and in-charge. Combined with homework, we barely have time to sit and watch TV. I know. The horror of it all. Currently, we are in Jiu Jitsu twice a week, Battle of the Books (which ends on Wednesday, but more on that later), AWANA (which we've skipped since the beginning of February because we can't fit it in), and we are between basketball and soccer season. I can barely talk about that last item. Soccer season. I'm not, and never desired to be a "soccer mom". I don't really like the sport all that much, but even more so, I do not like that this sport takes place outside during the craziest weather seasons Colorado has to offer. I have no love in my heart for sitting outside for an hour freezing my tail off in either frigid temps, snow, rain, or high (freezing cold) winds. But let's get real. We live in Colorado. We often see all of those things in the course of an hour. Easily. I'm no friend of cold weather. Combine that with a game that holds my attention for a short time, and I'm out. Apparently, I'm one of the few. My son may be one of the only kids on his team that will be playing soccer for the first time this season. I will try not to complain about this anymore. The Little Man is over the moon that his, "mommy finally let me play the game I love the most." I'm a horrible, selfish mother.
The Girl is about to wrap up Battle of the Books this season, tomorrow. I'm proud to say that they won the area championships last week and tomorrow her team will be battling it out for top seat in the district! It's been a very happy time in this house since Friday when they won. They made it to the same spot last year and lost. So, this year's win was that much sweeter. I'm both excited and nervous for her. I know these kids really know their stuff, and they'll do their very best. I just hope for her, it gets them a win. Will she survive if it doesn't? Absolutely. However, I can't help but want this for her. I'll have to keep the blog updated....you know in a few months.
 |
| My Champion |
 | |||
| The whole team! |
The Hubs has been on a serious diet for the last five weeks. I totally blame this diet for the lack of blogging. Totally. He has been gluten free, yeast free, and sugar free since February 11th. The gluten and sugar are actually not too difficult. Challenging, yes. Difficult, not so much. I mean, 15% of the country is gluten free which means at the super markets in my area, I can find numerous products that are either made without gluten, or are naturally gluten free. They are all clearly labeled and easy to find. Also, when I search the internet, there is a wealth of information, recipes, and advice from so many people who have gone before and paved the way. The yeast piece of this diet? Yea. It's REALLY difficult. Yeast is in everything, and it is not clearly labeled, and not many people have paved the way here. In all seriousness, this diet became a full-time job for me for at least 3 weeks. I spent probably 40+ hours a week researching about the diet, finding recipes, searching for substitutes, shopping for new foods, finding stores where the new products were sold, etc. I went from rocking dinner about 95% of the time to only serving something somewhat tolerable about one in every four to five dinners. The other dinners we gagged back, and it pains me to say, we would just throw out a lot of stuff. The diet was supposed to help resolve some major inflammation in his body, thus helping in some other health issues that he battles everyday. While inflammation is down and he has lost 30 pounds, we aren't quite sure that anything else has been fixed or alleviated. However, my husband is determined to follow this through to the end. So, two more weeks of this, and we'll try something different. It should be interesting, to say the least. Also, it has reopened my eyes to the crud we put into our bodies each day. No wonder we are breaking down and have so many different ailments. I'm convinced that we, as a society, are slowly killing ourselves with our food. That's a whole different topic, and I better stop there.
My youngest sister got engaged. Yup! I could not be happier for her or her man. They will say "I do" on August 1st this year. It is a speedy engagement, but it will be full of fun and special times. I can not wait to celebrate her in this precious season of her life. My kids are just as excited, and I have especially loved watching them take in this special time. The Girl is all about the ring, the dress, and the romance of it all. The Little Man has been very sweet in praying for her stress levels. Making sure to ask God for His help for her to get done what needs to be done, and that she'll be happy with all the decisions that are made. He also is quick to tell people that his aunt is going to get married and he'll have a new uncle. Precious.
Combining the trip to Hawaii and daylight savings, proved to be extremely difficult. I suffered from some serious jet lag due to the time change and the red eye flight that we had to make, twice (our airplane broke down leading to a canceled flight, and then we had to take another red-eye the next evening with no sleep during the day in between). Just when I was catching up, painfully I might add, the time change came, and I was off again. I'm convinced that this exhaustion led to my first cold in about four years. I had forgotten how miserable you feel when your head is congested and your body is just crummy feeling all over. Thankfully, I was able to fight it off in about five-ish days. I really reevaluating the way I treat the kids and The Hubs when they are sick. Compassion and grace are good things.
Here's to hoping I make it back again before another month goes by. I do miss it here, but have been writing in my journal frequently. One day I hope to share.
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Overflowing Full
January was a full month. All sorts of stuff going on in real life, and in my head and heart. Here's what's going on (in no particular order):
1) The kids are no joke this year. I mean, between the two of them, I'm out of breath. Of course, it's all been good things. It's just that this is the first (school) year that we have really been engaged in several extra curricular activities. In the past, I have let each of them pick one thing at a time. Meaning, if The Girl was doing an activity, it was The Little Man's "off-season" and vice versa. It kept me sane. This year it just wasn't going to work out. The kids have both found things that they really enjoy, and it just so happened that their "seasons" overlapped. Right now, we are in the middle of basketball season for The Little Man, but we also have Jiu Jitsu and AWANA.
2) Going along with number one, The Girl is currently preparing for the school's talent show with a friend of hers. They are going to sing Avril Lavigne's "Skater Boy". Don't ask. Actually, I did ask. Their response was, "It was our favorite song on the karaoke machine." Awesome. I told them that next year, we could all work together to find the best song. Thankfully, they've agreed. You might be asking, "Why didn't you stop it before they tried out?" Well, friends, if I am going to be honest, I really didn't think they would make it in. I know. You all hate me. I don't really like myself for thinking it either. However, can I say, it made me all the more surprised to see just how cute they were. Even if they were singing about their skater boy heart throb. We'll see the grand performance tomorrow night. In the meantime, I've been shopping for the perfect "Skater Girl" outfits with two girls who would rather wear sequins because, after all, they are going to be on stage, and learning how to edit music digitally. Turns out that each performance can only be three minutes, and when those three minutes are up, there up. Well, the girls had some definite opinions on which parts of the music they wanted to keep and which had to go. So, there I was learning how to cut, split, combine, and fade music. I've impressed even myself.
3) Speaking of The Girl, I finally got some 10 year old portraits of her. Here are a few of my favorites:
4) Speaking of portraits, this past month I had some photography mentoring. It was fun and challenging, and most importantly, it opened my eyes to my own work. I did three shoots in the span of about 10 days, which is a lot for me. I don't think I've mastered anything she has taught me yet, but throughout the year, I am hoping to see some serious growth in my work. I'm also feeling like I could take another class or one on one mentoring again soon.
5) While I haven't been writing here, I have been writing "old school" style, you know, in a journal. God has really been working on my heart and teaching me tons about "Faith". I am loving it, but some stuff just has to be kept private. Maybe there will be some summary at some point, but right now, it's just my brain emptying as much as I can, as fast as I can.
6) The Girl's team for Battle of the Books won the school wide competition. That means she and her team will compete once a week against different schools in the district, and eventually they will compete for top school in the district. We L-O-V-E Battle of the Books. It is such a fun way to encourage reading. It also just happens to be the only form of competition that The Girl will engage in.
7) The Little Man has been sick more this school year than the last two school years combined. When he came down with some sort of funky flu like virus a few weeks ago, I looked back at the calendar and realized that he's been sick and had to miss school every single month this school year. Crazy. Here's to hoping that February will be different. Even if it is just because it has less days.
With all that has been going on, I'm really having to work hard on not getting too overwhelmed. I overwhelm very easily (if you haven't figured that out). God has really been good to me, showing me that, while there may be a lot going on, it's all good stuff. It's also all stuff that has been prayed about and for. We are living out our days full of answered prayers. He is showing me that instead of being overwhelmed and shutting down, I can be overwhelmed and full of thanksgiving. When I choose to pick the latter, it makes life so rich. That is my prayer for February.
"Lord, let me see the way you are filling our lives with blessing and answered prayers, and let me respond with praise and thanksgiving!"
1) The kids are no joke this year. I mean, between the two of them, I'm out of breath. Of course, it's all been good things. It's just that this is the first (school) year that we have really been engaged in several extra curricular activities. In the past, I have let each of them pick one thing at a time. Meaning, if The Girl was doing an activity, it was The Little Man's "off-season" and vice versa. It kept me sane. This year it just wasn't going to work out. The kids have both found things that they really enjoy, and it just so happened that their "seasons" overlapped. Right now, we are in the middle of basketball season for The Little Man, but we also have Jiu Jitsu and AWANA.
2) Going along with number one, The Girl is currently preparing for the school's talent show with a friend of hers. They are going to sing Avril Lavigne's "Skater Boy". Don't ask. Actually, I did ask. Their response was, "It was our favorite song on the karaoke machine." Awesome. I told them that next year, we could all work together to find the best song. Thankfully, they've agreed. You might be asking, "Why didn't you stop it before they tried out?" Well, friends, if I am going to be honest, I really didn't think they would make it in. I know. You all hate me. I don't really like myself for thinking it either. However, can I say, it made me all the more surprised to see just how cute they were. Even if they were singing about their skater boy heart throb. We'll see the grand performance tomorrow night. In the meantime, I've been shopping for the perfect "Skater Girl" outfits with two girls who would rather wear sequins because, after all, they are going to be on stage, and learning how to edit music digitally. Turns out that each performance can only be three minutes, and when those three minutes are up, there up. Well, the girls had some definite opinions on which parts of the music they wanted to keep and which had to go. So, there I was learning how to cut, split, combine, and fade music. I've impressed even myself.
3) Speaking of The Girl, I finally got some 10 year old portraits of her. Here are a few of my favorites:
5) While I haven't been writing here, I have been writing "old school" style, you know, in a journal. God has really been working on my heart and teaching me tons about "Faith". I am loving it, but some stuff just has to be kept private. Maybe there will be some summary at some point, but right now, it's just my brain emptying as much as I can, as fast as I can.
6) The Girl's team for Battle of the Books won the school wide competition. That means she and her team will compete once a week against different schools in the district, and eventually they will compete for top school in the district. We L-O-V-E Battle of the Books. It is such a fun way to encourage reading. It also just happens to be the only form of competition that The Girl will engage in.
7) The Little Man has been sick more this school year than the last two school years combined. When he came down with some sort of funky flu like virus a few weeks ago, I looked back at the calendar and realized that he's been sick and had to miss school every single month this school year. Crazy. Here's to hoping that February will be different. Even if it is just because it has less days.
With all that has been going on, I'm really having to work hard on not getting too overwhelmed. I overwhelm very easily (if you haven't figured that out). God has really been good to me, showing me that, while there may be a lot going on, it's all good stuff. It's also all stuff that has been prayed about and for. We are living out our days full of answered prayers. He is showing me that instead of being overwhelmed and shutting down, I can be overwhelmed and full of thanksgiving. When I choose to pick the latter, it makes life so rich. That is my prayer for February.
"Lord, let me see the way you are filling our lives with blessing and answered prayers, and let me respond with praise and thanksgiving!"
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Faith
As the New Year comes screaming in, I'm trying very hard to catch my breath. Hello, 2013. 2012 ended much more quickly than I expected it to. Suddenly, I have a 10 year old, my kids are half way through their 4th and 1st grade school years, and I'm faced with a new year that I feel like I need to set goals for. I wonder why I feel like the new year means new goals? Especially, since I know many will be not just forgotten, but purposely given up on. Yup, sometimes I will stare a goal in the face and just say, "You know what? I'm done. It was nice hangin' with ya for as long as I did, but it's time for goodbye." And the next day? I don't even really feel like a loser. No, I feel more like I've let go of some dead weight I've been carrying around, and I'm free.
So why even set goals? Not sure I have an answer, except that I think it's healthy to re-evaluate your life here and there. How am I living? What am I slacking in and I need to pick it up? Where am I working in vain and I need to lay it down? If I'm honest, I re-evaluate my life often. Maybe too much? I don't know, but there is something about the first of the year that makes re-evaluation feel very formal.
For the last few years, I have been picking one word that I want to drive my whole year. (You can see past years here and here). I love this idea, and I wish I came up with it, but actually the people at One Word did. The thing is, I don't know what tomorrow will bring, some days I'm doing good to get to the end of the day, so having these specific goals to follow me all year seems too unrealistic to me, and not flexible enough. However, one word can apply to your life in so many different ways. It's moveable and all encompassing.
This year, my word will be "faith". This word has been in my ear since sometime this summer. It was about that time that I started noticing that my word for last year, "reckless", needed to have a back bone. Faith is that backbone. Listen, I'm not saying that "reckless" was a bust last year. I was all sorts of reckless last year. In fact, I feel totally successfully reckless. But what "reckless" did was open my eyes more clearly to "faith". I need faith to be reckless.
Have you ever noticed when you've done a workout, on say your legs, that the next day, it isn't just your legs that are sore? Sometimes your back and lower core muscles are feeling a bit weary as well. That's because you use those back and lower core muscles to do a leg workout. So last year, while my "reckless" muscles were getting a great workout, I was noticing that some other muscles were feeling sore. They were my "faith" muscles. I also noticed that they aren't as strong as I thought they should/what I would like them to be. In fact, the more reckless I got, the sorer my faith muscles grew, and the more I realized I had a little "muscle imbalance".
It's time to address this imbalance. And can I say, I'm really feeling it? And also, for the first time since doing this whole "one word" thing, I'm finding myself trying to talk myself out of it. It's been a gut check to say the least. My eyes have been open to an area that I need help with.
This year, I want my faith to increase. I want to believe and trust more, even when circumstances give me every reason to doubt. Also, I want that belief and trust to grow some legs and walk. I don't want this faith to dance around in my head or swim in and out of conversations, I want real action. I want it to look like something. The truth is: Faith does. The truth is, as a believer in Christ, I've been promised some pretty amazing things. I have a choice, I can believe them and know that with all my heart, and despite current circumstances, they are true, or I can choose to not. The thing with faith, is there is no middle ground. I either live in belief or unbelief. It's black and white. But if I have faith, and I believe in the promises made, it should change the way I live.
Completely.
So why even set goals? Not sure I have an answer, except that I think it's healthy to re-evaluate your life here and there. How am I living? What am I slacking in and I need to pick it up? Where am I working in vain and I need to lay it down? If I'm honest, I re-evaluate my life often. Maybe too much? I don't know, but there is something about the first of the year that makes re-evaluation feel very formal.
For the last few years, I have been picking one word that I want to drive my whole year. (You can see past years here and here). I love this idea, and I wish I came up with it, but actually the people at One Word did. The thing is, I don't know what tomorrow will bring, some days I'm doing good to get to the end of the day, so having these specific goals to follow me all year seems too unrealistic to me, and not flexible enough. However, one word can apply to your life in so many different ways. It's moveable and all encompassing.
This year, my word will be "faith". This word has been in my ear since sometime this summer. It was about that time that I started noticing that my word for last year, "reckless", needed to have a back bone. Faith is that backbone. Listen, I'm not saying that "reckless" was a bust last year. I was all sorts of reckless last year. In fact, I feel totally successfully reckless. But what "reckless" did was open my eyes more clearly to "faith". I need faith to be reckless.
Have you ever noticed when you've done a workout, on say your legs, that the next day, it isn't just your legs that are sore? Sometimes your back and lower core muscles are feeling a bit weary as well. That's because you use those back and lower core muscles to do a leg workout. So last year, while my "reckless" muscles were getting a great workout, I was noticing that some other muscles were feeling sore. They were my "faith" muscles. I also noticed that they aren't as strong as I thought they should/what I would like them to be. In fact, the more reckless I got, the sorer my faith muscles grew, and the more I realized I had a little "muscle imbalance".
It's time to address this imbalance. And can I say, I'm really feeling it? And also, for the first time since doing this whole "one word" thing, I'm finding myself trying to talk myself out of it. It's been a gut check to say the least. My eyes have been open to an area that I need help with.
This year, I want my faith to increase. I want to believe and trust more, even when circumstances give me every reason to doubt. Also, I want that belief and trust to grow some legs and walk. I don't want this faith to dance around in my head or swim in and out of conversations, I want real action. I want it to look like something. The truth is: Faith does. The truth is, as a believer in Christ, I've been promised some pretty amazing things. I have a choice, I can believe them and know that with all my heart, and despite current circumstances, they are true, or I can choose to not. The thing with faith, is there is no middle ground. I either live in belief or unbelief. It's black and white. But if I have faith, and I believe in the promises made, it should change the way I live.
Completely.
Friday, January 4, 2013
A Decade Later
A decade ago, I became a mom. It seems like all that I've done is blinked once. Somehow, that sweet brand new baby girl they laid in my arms, is now ten years old. All at once it seems to have gone by so fast, yet I feel so old. I have a child who is now double digits!
She's become so much in ten years. She's a: Sister, friend, daughter, granddaughter, cousin, and most importantly, a child of God. She's a student, an artist, an avid reader, a deep thinker, an external processor, and an introvert who loves people. She has become a great actress, a beginner Jiu Jitsu student, a marathon completer, a triathlete, and a Battle of the Books boxer. After mothering her for ten years, I've learned that her heart is amazing. She's so warm, nurturing, gentle, and peaceful.
At ten years old, her favorite things right now are: Jiu Jitsu, theater, singing and music, getting her nails done, AWANA, her iPod touch, her brother, all small dogs, spicy foods, inventing things with our recyclables, the outdoors, bugs, and crafting jewelry. She does not like: Homework, competition, snakes, steak, too much noise, and being rushed.
I had no idea how complex this girl would become when they first handed her over to me. What a beautiful surprise. I love nothing more than to figure out what makes this girl tick. I love watching her as she engages in something she loves. She's full of passion, this one.
What a ride The Hubs and I have been on these last 10 years, and I wouldn't have wanted to do it with, or for, anyone else.
Sweet Girl,
Here's your birthday montage. I love how much you love to watch these! Thank you for helping me pick the music and just the right pictures. You're quite the help!
She's become so much in ten years. She's a: Sister, friend, daughter, granddaughter, cousin, and most importantly, a child of God. She's a student, an artist, an avid reader, a deep thinker, an external processor, and an introvert who loves people. She has become a great actress, a beginner Jiu Jitsu student, a marathon completer, a triathlete, and a Battle of the Books boxer. After mothering her for ten years, I've learned that her heart is amazing. She's so warm, nurturing, gentle, and peaceful.
At ten years old, her favorite things right now are: Jiu Jitsu, theater, singing and music, getting her nails done, AWANA, her iPod touch, her brother, all small dogs, spicy foods, inventing things with our recyclables, the outdoors, bugs, and crafting jewelry. She does not like: Homework, competition, snakes, steak, too much noise, and being rushed.
I had no idea how complex this girl would become when they first handed her over to me. What a beautiful surprise. I love nothing more than to figure out what makes this girl tick. I love watching her as she engages in something she loves. She's full of passion, this one.
What a ride The Hubs and I have been on these last 10 years, and I wouldn't have wanted to do it with, or for, anyone else.
Sweet Girl,
Here's your birthday montage. I love how much you love to watch these! Thank you for helping me pick the music and just the right pictures. You're quite the help!
Make a video - it's fun, easy and free!
www.onetruemedia.com
www.onetruemedia.com
P.S. I'm so sorry that your 10 year old pictures aren't in this yet! Once I get my camera back from the repair shop, I'll update.
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
A Christmas Miracle
I have to admit, I don’t always have the best attitude when it comes to Christmas. As a child, it was always excitement. The holiday was all about getting gifts. What from my list would actually show up under the tree? Then, I had kids of my own, and it became special again for new reasons. For a few years. I was excited to see Christmas through their eyes, to relive the magic that had long since dimmed for myself. But, after a while, that too faded.
This year, I wanted to feel different than the last few years. I wanted to feel like a child again, counting down the days, getting more and more excited as time passed. I wanted Christmas to be more than just a day, but more like an experience in my heart. I prayed that God would open my eyes anew to the season. That I would understand more in depth exactly what it was I was celebrating, and also, what I wasn’t.
Here is what He has shown me:
When Jesus was born the whole world changed. As Mary gazed down at her brand new baby boy, she wasn’t looking at just any baby, she was looking at God Himself. A God who, out of His great and perfect love for His people, and never wanting to be separated from a single one of us, left Heaven. He got down off of His throne, put on flesh, and came into our dirty, sin filled, world as a baby. A helpless baby. A baby that was going to have to depend on a human to care for him. To keep him safe and meet all of his needs. The God of the universe, capable of all things, now incapable of caring for himself. Our holy and perfect God, free of all sin, now cared for by a human, and in a world, both totally infected with sin. Mary and Joseph looked down upon their child, and gazed into the eyes of God in the flesh.
That is a miracle! No one had seen God face to face like this before. Moses had seen God’s shadow and goodness pass by him, and Isaiah fell face down unable to stand much less look at God when he entered God’s throne room in a dream. But here, Mary and Joseph stare into the eyes of their newborn son, and look straight into the eyes of God. And this, this very thing, the fact that He is here, Emmanuel, God with us, changes everything! It’s a miracle.
The birth of Jesus places God in our world. Living in our conditions. Tempted by the same temptations as we are. He is with us, living, breathing, working, serving, loving. And this was just the beginning.
Many other miracles happen at the time of this miraculous birth. There were shepherds who were visited by an angel of God, telling them that their king, savior, and messiah had been born.
“8 That night there were shepherds staying in the fields nearby, guarding their flocks of sheep. 9 Suddenly, an angel of the Lord appeared among them, and the radiance of the Lord’s glory surrounded them. They were terrified, 10 but the angel reassured them. “Don’t be afraid!” he said. “I bring you good news that will bring great joy to all people. 11 The Savior—yes, the Messiah, the Lord—has been born today in Bethlehem, the city of David! 12 And you will recognize him by this sign: You will find a baby wrapped snugly in strips of cloth, lying in a manger.”
13 Suddenly, the angel was joined by a vast host of others—the armies of heaven—praising God and saying,
14 “Glory to God in highest heaven, and peace on earth to those with whom God is pleased.”
15 When the angels had returned to heaven, the shepherds said to each other, “Let’s go to Bethlehem! Let’s see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”
16 They hurried to the village and found Mary and Joseph. And there was the baby, lying in the manger. 17 After seeing him, the shepherds told everyone what had happened and what the angel had said to them about this child. 18 All who heard the shepherds’ story were astonished, 19 but Mary kept all these things in her heart and thought about them often. 20 The shepherds went back to their flocks, glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen. It was just as the angel had told them.” Luke 2:8-20
Then the heavenly hosts declare the birth of Jesus.
“Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the reign of King Herod. About that time some wise men[a] from eastern lands arrived in Jerusalem, asking, 2 “Where is the newborn king of the Jews? We saw his star as it rose,[b] and we have come to worship him.”...And the star they had seen in the east guided them to Bethlehem. It went ahead of them and stopped over the place where the child was. 10 When they saw the star, they were filled with joy! 11 They entered the house and saw the child with his mother, Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasure chests and gave him gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh.” Matthew 2:1-2, 9b-11.
A star so bright and big that it catches the attention of wise men in a distant land. Men who studied the heavens seeking to gain an understanding of events on earth. This new star, so bright and beautiful, suggested to them the birth of a new and great king. So, these wise men pack up and plan their pilgrimage to seek out this new king and pay tribute. Both the shepherds and the wise men have the same response when they set their eyes upon Jesus. Worship and praise.
Instead of trying to comprehend intellectually an angel visiting them, a bright star that just appears in the night sky, or how in the world (let alone why) God would come to earth in flesh, they all just fall to their knees in humble worship, and praise God. They knew they were looking face to face with a mysterious miracle. And for these men, it changes everything.
And it changes everything for me too.
Previous to that day, we (humanity) were trapped. Sin kept us stuck. We were stuck trying to earn our way to God. We had to follow very strict laws in order to be considered righteous. Inevitably, the laws would be broken. Then there were more laws telling us how to deal with the broken laws. If we did all the right things, stayed away from all the wrong things, and followed all the rules we could be considered righteous. This righteousness would lead to eternal life with God. Here’s the deal: I can’t live a perfect life. Heck! I can’t live a perfect day. I just can’t do it. Can you feel the weight of this on your shoulders? Does it feel hopeless?
But then...a baby came...a mysterious miracle.
One day, I’m stuck, hopeless, and giving up. The next day, I have hope.
Everything has changed.
Christmas is just the beginning, and that is what I am celebrating. It’s about a miracle. It’s not about celebrating gifts, menus, people, or decorations. I am celebrating something so much bigger. I am celebrating the day in which the whole world changed. It’s a moment in history that drew a dividing line in the sand. The world was one way, and then it was all changed the next day. The moment a teenage virgin, gave birth in a dirty stable, because there was no room for her or her baby anywhere else, our world changed.
Life may be complicated, but God’s solution to life’s complications is to send us a baby who is unlike any other baby who has ever been born: God himself in human form, taking on our flesh, experiencing life from our perspective, so that we are no longer alone. He is forever Emmanuel, God with us, And in his company we can cope with whatever life hands us. Because he shares in our humanity, we can experience His divinity forever.
And how should I respond? The same way that the shepherds and wise men responded. On my knees, in humble worship and praise. I respond with a surrendered life to my God who lives with us. I respond with thankfulness that I worship a God who loves and longs for me to the extent of living in my world, and in my brokeness, so I could be with Him forever. A thankfulness because I have a God who knows sin and was tempted in the same way I am each day, yet was without sin so He could bridge the gap between me and Himself. And because of that bridged gap, I can respond in obedience to His call on my life and to His Word. I am thankful for this day that both hope and love were born. And I worship Him because this was His plan all along.
"1 In the beginning the Word already existed. The Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He existed in the beginning with God. 3 God created everything through him, and nothing was created except through him. 4 The Word gave life to everything that was created, and his life brought light to everyone. 5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it
14 So the Word became human and made his home among us. He was full of unfailing love and faithfulness. And we have seen his glory, the glory of the Father’s one and only Son." (John 1:1-5, 14)
This year, I wanted to feel different than the last few years. I wanted to feel like a child again, counting down the days, getting more and more excited as time passed. I wanted Christmas to be more than just a day, but more like an experience in my heart. I prayed that God would open my eyes anew to the season. That I would understand more in depth exactly what it was I was celebrating, and also, what I wasn’t.
Here is what He has shown me:
When Jesus was born the whole world changed. As Mary gazed down at her brand new baby boy, she wasn’t looking at just any baby, she was looking at God Himself. A God who, out of His great and perfect love for His people, and never wanting to be separated from a single one of us, left Heaven. He got down off of His throne, put on flesh, and came into our dirty, sin filled, world as a baby. A helpless baby. A baby that was going to have to depend on a human to care for him. To keep him safe and meet all of his needs. The God of the universe, capable of all things, now incapable of caring for himself. Our holy and perfect God, free of all sin, now cared for by a human, and in a world, both totally infected with sin. Mary and Joseph looked down upon their child, and gazed into the eyes of God in the flesh.
That is a miracle! No one had seen God face to face like this before. Moses had seen God’s shadow and goodness pass by him, and Isaiah fell face down unable to stand much less look at God when he entered God’s throne room in a dream. But here, Mary and Joseph stare into the eyes of their newborn son, and look straight into the eyes of God. And this, this very thing, the fact that He is here, Emmanuel, God with us, changes everything! It’s a miracle.
The birth of Jesus places God in our world. Living in our conditions. Tempted by the same temptations as we are. He is with us, living, breathing, working, serving, loving. And this was just the beginning.
Many other miracles happen at the time of this miraculous birth. There were shepherds who were visited by an angel of God, telling them that their king, savior, and messiah had been born.
“8 That night there were shepherds staying in the fields nearby, guarding their flocks of sheep. 9 Suddenly, an angel of the Lord appeared among them, and the radiance of the Lord’s glory surrounded them. They were terrified, 10 but the angel reassured them. “Don’t be afraid!” he said. “I bring you good news that will bring great joy to all people. 11 The Savior—yes, the Messiah, the Lord—has been born today in Bethlehem, the city of David! 12 And you will recognize him by this sign: You will find a baby wrapped snugly in strips of cloth, lying in a manger.”
13 Suddenly, the angel was joined by a vast host of others—the armies of heaven—praising God and saying,
14 “Glory to God in highest heaven, and peace on earth to those with whom God is pleased.”
15 When the angels had returned to heaven, the shepherds said to each other, “Let’s go to Bethlehem! Let’s see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”
16 They hurried to the village and found Mary and Joseph. And there was the baby, lying in the manger. 17 After seeing him, the shepherds told everyone what had happened and what the angel had said to them about this child. 18 All who heard the shepherds’ story were astonished, 19 but Mary kept all these things in her heart and thought about them often. 20 The shepherds went back to their flocks, glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen. It was just as the angel had told them.” Luke 2:8-20
Then the heavenly hosts declare the birth of Jesus.
“Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the reign of King Herod. About that time some wise men[a] from eastern lands arrived in Jerusalem, asking, 2 “Where is the newborn king of the Jews? We saw his star as it rose,[b] and we have come to worship him.”...And the star they had seen in the east guided them to Bethlehem. It went ahead of them and stopped over the place where the child was. 10 When they saw the star, they were filled with joy! 11 They entered the house and saw the child with his mother, Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasure chests and gave him gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh.” Matthew 2:1-2, 9b-11.
A star so bright and big that it catches the attention of wise men in a distant land. Men who studied the heavens seeking to gain an understanding of events on earth. This new star, so bright and beautiful, suggested to them the birth of a new and great king. So, these wise men pack up and plan their pilgrimage to seek out this new king and pay tribute. Both the shepherds and the wise men have the same response when they set their eyes upon Jesus. Worship and praise.
Instead of trying to comprehend intellectually an angel visiting them, a bright star that just appears in the night sky, or how in the world (let alone why) God would come to earth in flesh, they all just fall to their knees in humble worship, and praise God. They knew they were looking face to face with a mysterious miracle. And for these men, it changes everything.
And it changes everything for me too.
Previous to that day, we (humanity) were trapped. Sin kept us stuck. We were stuck trying to earn our way to God. We had to follow very strict laws in order to be considered righteous. Inevitably, the laws would be broken. Then there were more laws telling us how to deal with the broken laws. If we did all the right things, stayed away from all the wrong things, and followed all the rules we could be considered righteous. This righteousness would lead to eternal life with God. Here’s the deal: I can’t live a perfect life. Heck! I can’t live a perfect day. I just can’t do it. Can you feel the weight of this on your shoulders? Does it feel hopeless?
But then...a baby came...a mysterious miracle.
One day, I’m stuck, hopeless, and giving up. The next day, I have hope.
Everything has changed.
Christmas is just the beginning, and that is what I am celebrating. It’s about a miracle. It’s not about celebrating gifts, menus, people, or decorations. I am celebrating something so much bigger. I am celebrating the day in which the whole world changed. It’s a moment in history that drew a dividing line in the sand. The world was one way, and then it was all changed the next day. The moment a teenage virgin, gave birth in a dirty stable, because there was no room for her or her baby anywhere else, our world changed.
Life may be complicated, but God’s solution to life’s complications is to send us a baby who is unlike any other baby who has ever been born: God himself in human form, taking on our flesh, experiencing life from our perspective, so that we are no longer alone. He is forever Emmanuel, God with us, And in his company we can cope with whatever life hands us. Because he shares in our humanity, we can experience His divinity forever.
And how should I respond? The same way that the shepherds and wise men responded. On my knees, in humble worship and praise. I respond with a surrendered life to my God who lives with us. I respond with thankfulness that I worship a God who loves and longs for me to the extent of living in my world, and in my brokeness, so I could be with Him forever. A thankfulness because I have a God who knows sin and was tempted in the same way I am each day, yet was without sin so He could bridge the gap between me and Himself. And because of that bridged gap, I can respond in obedience to His call on my life and to His Word. I am thankful for this day that both hope and love were born. And I worship Him because this was His plan all along.
"1 In the beginning the Word already existed. The Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He existed in the beginning with God. 3 God created everything through him, and nothing was created except through him. 4 The Word gave life to everything that was created, and his life brought light to everyone. 5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it
14 So the Word became human and made his home among us. He was full of unfailing love and faithfulness. And we have seen his glory, the glory of the Father’s one and only Son." (John 1:1-5, 14)
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