The Day Santa Died (And Brought The Tooth Fairy Down with Him)

After school, late in the week last week, there were many tears.  Tears coming from The Little Man, tears coming from The Girl, and a couple of slammed doors.  I was trying to get some work done on the computer, so I decided the best thing to do was to call down each child one at a time, get each child's version of what happened, and then discipline accordingly.

First up, The Little Man:

me: What's going on, Buddy?  What are all the tears and slamming doors about?
p: Sister's mad at me, and she won't play with me anymore until I say I believe in the Pumpkin Elf.
me: Who? What?
p: She's mad at me 'cause I don't want to believe in the Pumpkin Elf.
me: What's a Pumpkin Elf?
p:  This elf that comes when it's close to Halloween and messes up your whole house, but leaves candy everywhere too.
me: I've never heard of a Pumpkin Elf before.  Was sister just trying to make him up so you two could have fun pretending?
p: No!  She said that her friend at school told her all about him and how he came to her house.  Now she wants to set up traps for him and write him notes, and I said I thought it was just a game.  Now she's mad at me.
me:  Well, I don't think the Pumpkin Elf is real either.  I've never heard of him before.  Maybe you could tell her you would like to play, but you don't want to believe in him just to have fun.  You just want to pretend.
p: No, that won't work.  She just wants to make me believe in him.
me: You don't have to if you don't want to.  You can go and play by yourself until she decides it's more fun to play with you than to play by herself.  She'll come and get you soon.

And off he went.  Tears gone.  Conversation over.  I rock at parenting.

Next up: The Girl who just so happens to be crying harder than she was than when I first initiated the conversation with The Little Man.

me: What's up with all the tears? 
d: (Now worked into an ugly cry) The kids at school all said you LIED to me!  They say you are a LIAR and Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, and Tooth Fairy are all FAKE!  Is that true?  Are you telling me LIES?
me: (Completely caught off guard because I was waiting to talk about some weird Pumpkin Elf, and still on the high I had from being a five star parent just moments before) What?
d: Yes.  You have been LYING to me this whole time.  NONE of those people are real, ARE THEY?
me: What do you mean?  I mean, what are the kids at school saying?  (Seriously?  What are these little punks saying?  Don't they know that not answering a question and using distraction is NOT lying?  No, it's something different.  It's called avoidance.)
d: They said that it's moms and dads who are Santa and The Tooth Fairy.  They said that parents just lie to their kids about there being a Santa or Tooth Fairy.  Is this true, Mamma?  Is what they are saying the truth? Have you been lying to me this whole time? I am the ONLY kid in my WHOLE class that said it wasn't.  I am the ONLY one who said that Santa isn't real.  Why?  (She said this with tears streaming down her face and a look of desperation that was so completely sad that I nearly started bawling myself as I relived my own moment of finding out the truth.)
me:  (realizing there is no holding back anything anymore.  I am cornered and there is no more time for avoidance tactics or distractions.  It's time to fess up.  I feel like I just swallowed a rock boulder.) Yes.  What they are saying is true.  I am so sorry. 

I won't go into the rest of the details of this conversation, but I will say there were many, many more tears.  As well as her telling me that ALL of her Christmas memories were "totally ruined" and she "hopes she never remembers all the Christmases past ever again".  Oh, and "I don't ever want to get another Christmas gift."  (Which I might totally hold her to.) (Just kidding.) (Kind of.)

I have to admit, it was kind of a sad night.  Especially since, I asked her to not let her brother in on the conversation we had, yet only moments later I found them in his room with the door closed.  When I opened the door, she glared up at me with tears streaking down her face and a look that said "You're still not forgiven."  The Little Man looked a little sad as well. 

When I asked him later what he and his sister talked about he said, "I don't know.  Do you want to read with me?" 

Avoidance and distraction. 

I know that game.