This parenting gig, is no joke. It's demanding, fulfilling, difficult, joyous, exhausting, down right painful, and then some all wrapped up in one. As the kids have grown, I started noticing (fairly early on) that it never got easier. It's not like some other jobs where the job becomes second nature because you master it. You never master parenting. Never. Ever. What works one time, will most certainly not work a second time. And if you are a parent of more than one child, forget completely what worked for the first child. You must start from scratch with each child. Come to find out: We are all unique individuals . Crazy.
Recently, we have been dealing with some issues with The Girl. It's heart wrenching to say the least. There have been tears, many late night talks, lots and lots of prayers, and even loss of sleep. The thing is, when they venture out of the house and into the world of school, friends/peers, and teachers there is so little that I control anymore. Like I was really all that in-control before.
The other day, I had someone over at the house. She was visibly exhausted, and understandably so. She is the mom of a three year old and a one year old. So hard. As she chased her little girl up and down my stairs about seventy billion times, she looked at me and said, "It must feel so good to be in an easier stage of parenting. It does get easier, doesn't it?" While it seems like almost a life time ago, I remembered.
I remembered how physically tired you get. How you constantly wonder if you are doing it right. Does my child even understand the English language enough to comprehend that I've asked them 281 times not to poke the dog in the eye? Do time outs even work? Why is suggesting a nap the equivalent to asking for their right arm to be chopped of? Exhausting, lonely, and frustrating.
Those were hard days, no doubt. However, I don't think it ever got easier. I also don't think that it has gotten any harder. It just gets different. There is no mastery. As soon as you successfully leap over the hurdle of keeping them from thinking it's time to play tag every time you're in a busy parking lot, they move on to something else. Something that is just as dangerous and/or annoying. There is no getting easier. It's just different.
I'm learning that I'll never master this "parenting gig" that I've been placed in. While the days of time-outs, arguing over naps, and potty training are behind me, today I face issues of the heart. Friendship, self-identity/esteem issues, forgiveness, and handling every emotion under the sun. I look ahead and see friends dealing with opposite sex relationships/heartbreaks, dealing with more and more freedom, and making decisions for colleges or jobs. It's all so very difficult, exhausting, and emotional.
As I've turned to God for His wisdom in my parenting, I'm also learning that I can turn to Him for his comfort. Not only does He guide the way I make decisions in how to address the issues we are facing now, He comforts me as I hurt over their hurts. He assures me with His love for me, and the truth that He loves them more than I could ever love them. Ultimately, it is He that is holding them. And as things get tricky, or down right painful, He reminds me that nothing is wasted. While sometimes I feel silly that my problems seem so small compared to what others may be dealing with, He reminds me that He has seen all of it, He is in control, and He cares.
Father God, thank you for knowing what it's like to be a parent. You are the ultimate parent, perfect in all of your ways. You know what is good for us, and you lead us in those directions. When things get difficult, you are not only my helper and guide, but my comforter. Thank you for showing me, these last few weeks, how you never leave my side, how you see each one of my hurts, as well as when my kids hurt, that nothing is too small or too big for you, and that you care. Thank you for letting nothing go wasted. You are training me too, as I train them. Thank you. In your loving name, Amen
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