As we have been walking a fairly bumpy road in life, not knowing where we are headed or what's in-store, we are starting to see a bend up ahead. A new direction. It may still be bumpy, dark, and the view bad, but there's something ahead, for sure.
I get set in my ways, and stubborn at times. I think I won't ever do something, or how could I possibly not do that? Then, something happens. A change of heart. And a change of direction. Recently, we (The Hubs and I) have been both experiencing some heart changes. Things that seemed impossible, are suddenly showing themselves to be not so far out of reach. Other stuff, stuff that we never would want to happen, doesn't sound like such a bad idea after all. It's confusing. It's weird. It's exciting.
Since the changes that are happening are so far out of the norm for us, and we are both on the same page with one another (hello! how often does that happen?), we are feeling excited that it is God who is actively changing our hearts and desires, and putting His plans in motion. The plans He has had since the beginning of time.
My comfort zone is being encroached upon, and in this discomfort, I doubt. "Is that really, You I'm hearing?" "Why do I all of a sudden feel so desperate for this?" "Is this my desire or Yours?"
It's so tempting for me to respond, "Lord, whatever your will is, I'll do it. I just need a big flashing billboard to lead the way. Without it, I don't know where to go, and in fear, I might just stand still."
Unfortunately, faith doesn't work that way. Faith moves without knowing the direction. Faith goes not because of a big billboard, but because He asks you to go. Faith doesn't know the end before it begins. And, as He would have it, this year I'm working out my faith muscles.
There's no big announcement in this entry, just sharing that "times, they are a changin'!" Not sure where this road is going, but there is a bend. Or a fork. I don't know which. Here are two songs that are so encouraging to me right now:
Sidewalk Prophets, Help Me Find It:
I don’t know where to go from here
It all used to seem so clear
I’m finding I can’t do this on my own
I don’t know where to go from here
As long as I know that You are near
I’m done fighting
I’m finally letting go
I will trust in You
You’ve never failed before
I will trust in You
[Chorus:]
If there’s a road I should walk
Help me find it
If I need to be still
Give me peace for the moment
Whatever Your will
Whatever Your will
Can you help me find it
Can you help me find it
I’m giving You fear and You give faith
I giving you doubt
You give me grace
For every step I’ve never been alone
Even when it hurts, You’ll have Your way
Even in the valley I will say
With every breath
You’ve never let me go
I will wait for You
You’ve never failed before
I will wait for You
[Chorus]
I lift my empty hands (come fill me up again)
Have Your way my King (I give my all to You)
I lift my eyes again (Was blind but now I see)
‘Cause You are all I need
[Chorus]
The other one is Jason Gray, Nothing is Wasted:
The hurt that broke your heart
And left you trembling in the dark
Feeling lost and alone
Will tell you hope's a lie
But what if every tear you cry
Will seed the ground where joy will grow
And nothing is wasted
Nothing is wasted
In the hands of our Redeemer
Nothing is wasted
It's from the deepest wounds
That beauty finds a place to bloom
And you will see before the end
That every broken piece is
Gathered in the heart of Jesus
And what's lost will be found again
Nothing is wasted
Nothing is wasted
In the hands of our Redeemer
Nothing is wasted
From the ruins
From the ashes
Beauty will rise
From the wreckage
From the darkness
Glory will shine
Glory will shine
Nothing is wasted
Nothing is wasted
In the hands of our Redeemer
Nothing is wasted
From the ruins
From the ashes
Beauty will rise
From the wreckage
From the darkness
Glory will shine
Glory will shine
These two songs encourage me that He will lead me where He wants, and never leave me alone. That I can trust Him, wait on Him, and move with Him. That I don't need to fear that a move I make might be wrong, because with Him, nothing is wasted. I don't have to fret that my past might keep me from something my future may hold for me, because He uses everything for my good. That what we are going through right now, and for the last two years, is preparing and equipping us for His plan. His good and perfect plan.
As we round the bend, or choose a new direction, I will continue to cling to Him and His promises. I will pray that I will not give into the temptation of fear, but instead trust, and walk in faith.
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